I’m doing doing so well. I’m not sure when it happened, it was so gradual I don’t think I noticed until it felt so irreversible. The problem is that I know that there are much bigger issues out there than any of mine could ever be. But they’re mine, and so they’re big for me.
I haven’t tried to verbalize it, not even think it, really. I can’t actually pinpoint what is going on; I’ve never been too good at facing my own problems. Thing is, I don’t know why I’m where I am right now. I’ve drifted away from friends, been left behind by others, and the ones that I consider my closest ones have other people to turn to. Misery loves company, and I feel so alone I just want someone to see. I want someone to really see what’s going on with me, see through the lies, the deflected “how are you?”s and see that I’m not really this person. Or at least that I don’t want to be but don’t really know how to be anything, anyone, else.