Summer has been on everyone’s mind lately, timidly peeking from behind our clouded minds that are otherwise preoccupied with thoughts of finishing classes and finals in the coming weeks. In the brief moments that I have time to meet with my friends that have equally busy schedules, we are abuzz with excitement for the upcoming summer. Internships are starting to solidify, storage spaces are being reserved, and plane tickets are being bought. It’s amusing to think (on a slightly nerdy note) how much we, students, stimulate the economy. No joke, think about it: we are helping pay faculty and staff salaries, any associated maintenance, electricity galore, plane tickets off the wazzoo, food like nobody’s business, etc. Of course, a lot of us are lucky to have our parents helping us, so really it’s a combined effort. But I digress.
It’s strange to think, though, of how different this summer will be from my past 19 summers. It’ll be the first time that I’m away from home, living in a different city without my friends. It’s the start to a new era… and the ending of a really special one to me. I was spoiled because when I started college, two of my close friends were at a college nearby, so I didn’t feel the brunt of leaving home as other people did.
A few days ago, I was having a rather existential life crisis with a dash of silly thrown in, and I ran into a funny facebook post suggesting that you text someone (they said parents, but ha!) saying “I got two grams for $20” and then sending another one saying “oh, that wasn’t for you.” For you hardheaded out there, it’s a slight reference to the possibility of having maybe gotten your hands one something of the less-than-legal category. Anyway, I sent that out to Phantom and Ally. Ally replied with “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!” and Phantom was all “yeah, yeah, sure you did.” So, of course, I had to mess with Phantom.
Here is a transcript of the exchange:
Phantom: “lol how are you ingesting said product?”
Kat: “hahaha bad trip man. The wings of the butterfly won’t stop moving. I’m afraid of what will happen because of it. Do you know?”
P: “Wait, you okay? Did you already smoke?”
K: “The wings, I don’t know how to stop them. I don’t know if I can.”
P: “You’re pulling my leg. I know it, fool”
K: “I’m too far away to pull your leg. That sounds awkward anyway. But don’t forget about the wings. They’re important. I know it.”
P: “What have you done tonight so far? What are you doing?”
K: “What haven’t I done? That’s the problem when you are too… too sad? Angry? Lonely? I don’t know.” Pause “But the wings. Remember them”
P: “Don’t worry about the wings. I took care of them. There are no more wings, I promise”
K: “But there are. Just not here or there. But they are.”
P: “I’ll remember them, don’t worry. You’re okay” Pause “What do said wings represent?”
K: “Possibilities. Good or bad. Just what is and could be…. Keep in mind that every lie carries with it a grain of truth”
P: “I’m getting worried about you, are you okay? I think you’ve had too much.”
K: “Either way, I’m just messing with you. I’m still an innocent girl just watching X-Files.”
P: “hahaha, I knew it! Was the butterfly think an idea from the butterfly effect? It mirrors the “everything happens for a reason” concept.”
K: “Yeah, but at the same time, the actions that cause the reactions can be conscious. More control over fate.”
P: “Dude, I am way too drunk for this!”
K: “lol, fair enough, have a good night!”
P: “Thanks you too, I’m going to miss you this summer!”
K: “You have no idea how much I ache for the past. Though I guess the present wasn’t much different. Just new actors.”
P: “I thought I was the only one that felt that way, I totally get what you mean. I’m sad about us not getting to spend the summer together from now on. A lot is changing.”
K: “It’ll become a new normal we’ll be accustomed to.”
P: “Yeah, I know. It just needs its mourning period, you know? I just love us so much.”
K: “You make a good point. We are pretty much amazing. But this doesn’t mean we have to stop being an “us”. Just define “us” a bit differently.”
P: “Yeah, I guess I’m just worried. I know I’m probably being unreasonable.”
K: “No, I get it. Change isn’t easy. Especially when you know it’s not temporary. But we’ll get through it, we always do.”
That whole conversation was just to show 1) Phantom is too gullible sometimes 2) I can lie convincingly through text, hahaha but really 3) things are really changing. With finals coming up and my graduation just around the corner, with knowing that I’m going to be in NY until the end of July and Dancer is going to spend part of the summer in Italy and part of it in Atlanta, it’s really hitting me that things really won’t be the same. I guess we’re all bound to grow up, though. It’s beyond our control to try to mediate how fast things go and how much time passes, but we really can control (to some extent) who we become and how our actions affect those around us. A few life lessons, I guess.
So to recap:
- summer is around the corner
- lying to friends can be very amusing
- don’t do drugs, they aren’t fun
- stay in school, it’s an awesome feeling to know you are graduating soon
- we can control our lives
Oh yeah, I’m that good.