Why is it that human beings have the tendency to put things off so much? I keep finding myself in situations where when given the chance to do something productive and that I know I should do, I instead choose to relax and watch a show or download and edit the pictures from the vacation my mom, my brother, and I took in September. I keep rationalizing it to myself, saying that I’m putting things off now because I am waiting for my GRE scores for the exam I took on October 31st (yes, truly the scariest thing that happened all day, I promise) but I’m pretty sure it’s all just an excuse. During the time that I decided to go through with applying for grad schools and therefore taking the exam (at the subtle urging of my mom), I had an outside force that jumpstarted me.
I very much feel like an typical object of Newton’s laws. I am at rest and will tend to stay at rest unless an outside force acts to change that fact. Is it paradoxical that I want myself to be that “outside” force? I know in all technicality I can’t be that force since it is inside the situation, inside the problem. But I guess in all technicality, I am not an object either. I guess I’ll have to find the way to break free from the chains that are holding me back and encouraging, if not forcing, me to stay at rest when I should be in the most active years of my life. Or at least I can force there to be sufficient slack in the chains to allow for more movement. And that movement will result in more slack and more movement, more freedom (from rest, from myself, from whatever) and all will be better with my little world. Or maybe that’s thinking too small and too naively. Ahh, it’s so much to think about all this.