(Half) truths

Why is it that we find it so difficult sometimes to be truthful to others and to ourselves? Maybe it’s just me, but I constantly find little white lies spilling out of my lips as if they were the droplets of a slow-leaking faucet. I keep trying to find the appropriate wrench to use to seal the leak, but my (semi enthusiastic) efforts have proved fruitless.

A few weeks ago I watched the movie “Chasing Liberty” with my mom. It’s a cute romantic comedy where the president’s daughter, Anna Foster, while on a Europe trip with her parents, essentially runs away in order to find her freedom. In the movie, Anna (played by Mandy Moore) often tells Ben Calder (Matthew Goode) her theories about life. One of them is a rather long and convoluted exploration of truths and lies and how white lies can be good, but lying is bad and sometimes it’s better to hear the lies and that half-truths are essentially lies but she isn’t sure if that’s good or bad. Or something along those lines. That explanation and something said by Kevin the Therapist on HIMYM (that while something may need to be said doesn’t mean it needs to be heard) has had me pondering the level of my lies lately.

I have to admit that I’ve done somethings I’m not 100% proud of in my life. And I’ve done things that, while I’m “proud” of them, it’s for the wrong reasons and I would never admit them to anyone. It seems sometimes that I get bored with the way my life is and I do things to spice it up, both for myself and for others. Or maybe it’s just for my own amusement. Being able to get away with a long term lie is kind of rush. Not one that I should like, but one that I find myself searching for now and again. To be fair, none of the lies that I have told would hurt anyone that I told them to (other than them not trusting me anymore).

And yet I can be such a hypocrite. I hate when friends lie to me. I hate the white “oh, I have your present but it won’t be ready until after christmas” white lies. I hate the “no, I haven’t spoken to him since we broke up” outright lies. I hate it when people think they can get away with a lie, a half truth, or anything in between. And I hate it even more when they do. I think that since I don’t trust people easily, I would ideally like for them to be truthful all the time. It would make life easier in some ways, wouldn’t it? If you knew in your heart that everything someone said was the truth. But I know there are some truths best left alone. While something needs to be said does not mean it needs to be heard. Sometimes the truth can hurt people just as much, or even more so, than lies. Gosh, we’re a complicated species.

PS:  Three down, two to go.

Currently listening to: Lego House by Ed Sheeran
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